Saturday, April 22, 2006

Gardens

Color
Luscious green of breath taking freshness
Pink, red and yellow
Springing from the earth
In the form of flowers
That speak to the heart
Reflections
Of a bright sun
From the droplet’s
Of dew
A haven
For a human soul
So deep in turmoil
That could only get cured
With natures healing touch

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

To a Friend

I guess I just miss the feeling of my thoughts and emotions running through my veins, reaching my fingertips, to transform into words. Keeping so many emotions bottled up has finally taken its toll on me, along with all the past year’s events. I haven’t really been keeping tab on this new chapter of my life, letting all those new experiences sweep my by. I feel like I am swimming, drifting aimlessly, in this deep abyss. I feel tired. Tired of the new experiences, the sudden changes, meeting new people, finding this new independence, and loosing more of myself that I can account for. All of the past eight months weigh heavily on my shoulders, spiced up by my dysfunctional family and the barrier that seems to grow thicker every day between who I am and who I want to be. I am stuck where no one wants to be, where no hopes can find you, where I feel that nothing could improve. Flashbacks of a painful childhood and learning before I have to that I must take care of myself in order to survive are haunting me. Trying too hard to please everyone and meet the expectations of those around me...trying too hard to be normal and ignore all the unpleasant memories and things that happen to me...trying too hard...too hard...
Its driving me crazy to try. All i want is to lie down and rest. Just rest and forget who i am and where i have to be. For once, i want to be me and not be scared.
I am sorry for not explaining this better... sorry for feeling this way and pulling you down with me... just sorry for not being a better person, a happier person, a more fun person...
Don't try to help me because i can't be helped, and don't worry because i will not bother you with it any more
Above all else
thank you for caring like no one else ever did. I am just worried that it came too late

Friday, March 31, 2006

Final Friends

Reading has been a major part of my teenage years and the process of developing who I am. All the different writers I read to, and the stories that had helped me travel to wild places and worlds far beyond the imagination are today forming a part of my personality. Yet some stories stayed with me more than others, and I felt myself leaving reality to become a part of that world. I think that I never properly detached myself from those favorite stories of mine, and one of them is the Final Friends Trilogy by Christopher Pike.
I love this story because it mixes suspense, humor, and a clear reflection of the struggles with love and adolescence of the reality in the book. The style of Pike was very gripping; I felt the book was a portal that sucked me into the story, forgetting the world I actually lived in. As I laughed out loud with many parts, and empathized with the characters, I felt the climax and the satisfying conclusion to the deepest end. I read the books over and over again, never tiring from it, it was that good.
The story revolved around a group of friends who loose one of their best friends in the end of the first book. While it appears to be suicide, the main character, Michael, could not believe that his sweet friend would just end her life. He starts an investigation in the second book, while struggling at the same time with his crush on Jessica, another character. The third book concludes the story making us realize that truth does not always come in shades of white and black; rather, sometimes it’s a mixture of both.
I loved the twist in the end of the story, and the fact that the suspense built did not end loosely. I also loved the humor, and the seriousness that were between the lines. The story addressed my favorite topic of all time: friendship, and that might be why I love it so much. At any rate, I don’t think I ever recovered from the crush I had on Michael, or ever came back to reality as a whole from that portal I got sucked in.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Lonley

I hate the feeling of complete loneliness. The feeling of not fitting in, the feeling of not having anyone to understand what I’m going through. Perhaps living in a world where everyone else is different is the hardest thing, especially if you yearn so much to be like them but just cannot. Circumstances, rules, restrictions all act like a barrier between who I am, a lonely poisoned soul, and who I want to be, a free, unique spirit. Hence, complete loneliness in the poem I wrote a while ago.

Alone
Despite the birds that are in the sky
People walking, running, waving goodbye
Inside, outside, still I ask why
I feel alone

Alone
Despite the ringing telephone
Lights being switched off and on
I am lost in every area and zone
I feel alone

Alone
So-called family and friends are everywhere
Ah, how fake they are, no love, no care
And so to belong has become so rare
I feel alone

Alone
It's inside me, can’t you see?
I’ll never be the person you want me to be
And earth lacks a place that would accept me
And so, I feel alone.

Monday, March 13, 2006

The Lord Of The Rings

Lord of the Rings, an amazing trilogy that was written by J.R.R Tolkins, was recently shot into three movies. The most amazing of those movies was the third one, ending the trilogy with a very magical and breath taking finale. Not everyone understood the concept behind those movies, or the story Tolkins had tried to say in his story. Nevertheless, for those who had been fans of the Lord of the Rings, the movies did the books great justice and Peter Jackson, had, indeed, been very successful in portraying the world of Middle Earth to the viewers.
The Finale, “The Return Of The King,” was the best of all three movies because it had summed up the story in a reasonable and magical way. The movie had started at a very crucial point in the story. While the ring barrier, Frodo, is lost with his companion Sam, the people of the Middle Earth are forming an alliance to save the city of Gondor. The outbreak of the war forms a tension from the very begging of the story while the villain, Sauron, is growing stronger.
The story evolves as the uncrowned king of Gondor, Aragorn, goes to retrieve the spirits of soldiers who had pledged alliance to his ancestor but fled amidst the war. Those spirits would be freed of their pledge if they help Aragorn in this war. Meanwhile, the Steward of Gondor had been controlled by the powers of Saurmon, and was about to burn himself and son. Gandalf, the wizard, was able to save Faramir but the Steward had died. The war breaks out and Aragorn gives an amazing speech that touches the hearts of all its viewers. As he is about to fight the evil Saurmon, Frodo reaches Mount Doom but is unable to destroy the king as its powers hold on too tight to him. However, Sam fights him over the ring and Golom bites his finger off, falling together with the ring into the fire the ring was forged it. The destruction of the ring destroys along with it Sauron, and in the end, human race succeeds. The finale marks the departure of elves and other creatures while man takes the rein of Middle Earth.
The creation of Middle Earth, along with the directing and acting turned the story of The Lord of The Rings into an amazing movie. However, as a person who had read the three books prior to watching the movie, I noticed a lot of scenes were cut. I believe that many parts, especially from the final book, were cut out, and that was a bit of a disappointment to a huge fan like me. Other than that, I think the movie did great justice to the book, recreating Tolkins Middle Earth with precise detail and magical vibes.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Forgetting

Humans have been blessed with the gift of forgetfulness. This gift allows us to move on. If it weren’t for the ability to forget, every grudge we hold and mistake we make would haunt us forever. Forgetting gives us the ability to live away from pain and heal with time. However, there are times when the act of forgetting can hurt so much it becomes unbearable. Those are the times when life’s tolls make us forget the past that we wish to relive but cannot cling on to anymore.
I wrote a poem about schools and graduation. It seems after we graduated, we move so far that the normal school day became a dream rather than a reality we used to live.
You feel like a dream, a swirl of my memory
The gathering of particles from my past
The strings of my thoughts are slipping in a hurry
And now you’re a shadow my mind had cast

It wasn’t so long when you were so real
But what am I saying, time flies by fast
Your silhouette was solid, your face so clear
Yet now it’s all foggy in a world very vast

Time is an eraser wiping off what is gone
What made me think the mortal would last?
Now the memories have left, it’s done
Our present became a part of our past

The UAE.. a better place

Despite the shortcomings that come from living in the UAE, I rather love living in it very much. Dubai is an amazing city, where one can see all the nations melted together in a place where tolerance and respect is required. I love the international atmosphere, the malls, the architecture, and the festivals. Yet living in Dubai is not perfect, since it has many problems.
If I were to make Dubai a better place, I would do something about the traffic. Everyone who uses the roads in any means of transport knows the problem I am talking about. I never really noticed the extent to the traffic problem is until last week, when I left my house at the rush hour to go to my dentist appointment. A trip that would have cost me 7 minutes ended up taking 45 minutes, and that was pretty annoying. The trains that are being constructed and the ferryboats are meant to reduce the traffic, but if I had a say in it I would hurry up with all the construction work going on in the roads. Being very slow, instead of helping they are simply increasing the traffic.
Another problem is the governmental education and the health institutions that are quite lacking. The education that is provided by government schools don't have a proper English foundation, hence the problems all the students face when required to take the toefl exams. The level of English in public schools is embarrassing, and that lead many families to give their children private school education.
The health institutions also lack enough facilities and proper doctors. The carelessness and mistakes that occur in the hospitals within the UAE are disturbing to the residents, since they break all trust in those hospitals.
If I were to make the UAE a better place, I guess I would start with the constructions that upset the citizens, and develop a better education and health institutions. Those are key elements which would make the UAE, and Dubai especially, an ideal place to live in.

Unfogging the Future

Time travelling is a popular topic in the science fiction genre. Movies, books, and plays have all went in length to discuss the possibilities of time travel, the effects of time travel on the history of the world, and the responsibility that comes with the choice to travel through time. Some stories discussed altering the past, while others explored discovering the future. In either case, the characters always had the choice of doing what they believed would be right, and then suffering from the consequences that came from their choice.
What would you do if you had the choice to travel through time? More specifically, to go forth into the future and discover what would happen to you? If you were offered a ride in a time travelling machine, would you take it? Would you want to unfogg the future and know what would happen?
If the choice was mine, then I would say no. I wouldn’t want to go to the future and know what would happen. I wouldn’t want to know how many children I’ll get, and when whether or not I’ll live to see my grandchildren. I wouldn’t want to know if there would be a third world war, and if someone I love would die there.
That is because I am a strong believer in destiny, and in the fact that what is meant to be will eventually happen, whether we know the future or not. Therefore, knowing the future would just act as a killer to all our hopes, a murderer to our dreams, and the end to the mystery that is life.
No matter how bad things are, and how much life hurts…no matter how crippling reality, and how hard accepting it is…the thing is, we really don’t know. And this "not knowing"…it springs hope, small or big, in our hearts, that things may get better.
Travelling through time is impossible…at least, it is now. However, if it were to be made possible, and if people could travel through portals of time and go from one era to the other, I am sure that I wouldn’t want to know my future. Where is the beauty in a world where no mistakes are made, and no mysteries or surprises are to be anticipated?

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Growing up in the UAE..

I am an 18 year old girl who grew up and lived in the UAE all her life. Born at the very center of Dubai, and growing up at the thriving time in which Dubai became a capital to the business and tourist worlds of the Middle East, I differ from other young girls who are growing up in the UAE. That is because in Dubai, the mixture of nationalities who live here have influenced the style of life that the citizens lived.
Growing up in Dubai means a lot of things. We got to see first hand the start of many exciting things such as the shopping festival, the construction of the skyscrapers and the creation of the palm islands. I love Dubai, and I love living in it. Even the most annoying aspects of being a city girl such as getting stuck in traffic makes me love this city more. However, it has not always been easy to grow up here.
Because of the changes that have occured so rapidly, our parents weren't always comfortable with adapting to the city life. My parents especially weren't always open minded about things that have changed with the development of Dubai. That is understandable, given that only twenty or so years ago things were remarkably different. However, it doesn't stop it from being annoying to see the way my parents were too careful as I am growing up. However, there are major disadvantages to growing up in Dubai during this time. Some of those disadvantages in my experience are my parents' discrimination between my brother and me. Nevertheless, things are changing, both within the society and within the city itself. As one of my most favorite teachers in university used to tell us all the time... "those are exciting times to live in".